1/7/11

I had to take a co-worker to the Emergency Room tonight. Will sliced his hand up pretty well while washing/breaking dishes. As annoying as it was sitting in the ER for like three and a half hours was, I had a lot of fun, and gained some new perspective on him. Will is a good dude, and I'm glad i got to hangout with him tonight.

1/1/11

Fireworks make me feel so reflective. I don't even know if that's the right way to say it. Anyway, the whole time i was watching the fireworks i was imagining a Wonder Years-ish voice over Talking about how New Years is such a joke- like all the bullshit and worrying about who you should spend it with, who you'll kiss, what lame party you should go to. I don't know. Nostalgia is a weird thing. I'm not even totally sure sure that's what i was experiencing. All I know is that i wasn't focusing on the fireworks at all.

FFFFFFFF

I hate when people say stupid shit things like "you just need learn how to deal with you emotions". I need to learn to ignore all feelings completely. i don't want to know how to like shit the "right way". i want bottle everything up and bury it. i want to turn off all emotions. i want to be a goddamn robot. i hate Rochester and everyone in it. i hate my co-workers and all the lame 30 somethings who will hit on anyone that looks at them twice, instead of waiting to meet someone they actually like. everyone makes me sick.

Fucked as Fuck for Fuck.
and i swear i hate you too. drawing lines? i'm still mad about that.

Fuck Holidays

I haven't felt like this in so long. I'm confused as shit, I'm angry, I'm hurt. Ugh i hate saying I'm hurt, but shit. This hurts.

all i want for breakfast is cocaine

where to begin?

am i doomed to be stuck like this forever? honestly that's the only way i feel like i can describe it. stuck. im stuck. im always going to be stuck. stuck with myself. forever.